Hello Twenty-Nineteen

Hello Twenty-Nineteen! I can honestly say that I’m excited for the new year – as cheesy as it sounds, a new year somehow gives us hope that all the things we don’t want or like will change or magically disappear! However, I’m a realist at heart so I won’t let myself run very far with that idea. 2018 was quite a humbling year – I learnt and made mistakes along the way and I’ll tell you about my biggest one.

Towards the end of last year, I started feeling very demotivated, overwhelmed and drained – hence the lack of writing on here. I had so many amazing blogging opportunities, but in many-a-case, I compromised myself and my family – from a time point of view. I took on too much and that resulted in me operating in autopilot-mode most of the time. Having a full time job and side hustles isnt that easy. I found myself working or thinking about work all the time and actually having very little time to be present around my family, to action some of my goals and sometimes to just think properly!! In the end, it all caught up on me; it affected my health and emotional state of being and I wasn’t able to meet some commitments that I had made. It’s really not a good feeling and I don’t want to find myself in that space again.

Over the holiday period, I switched off completely. I switched off my emails and limited my social media usage to spend time with the kids. I got a chance to reflect and think about twenty-nineteen and  I would like to share some of those reflections with you (so you can hold me accountable):

A bad habit I would like to break is:

Not having the courage to say no, when it is needed. Being bold and courageous will probably be tough and emotionally taxing for me (I’m such a softie), but I believe that it will also be game-changer for me. It will allow me to spend my time, doing projects that really count, both on a professional and personal level.

A new skill I would like to learn is:

Creating and editing my own YouTube videos. Gosh, I don’t know when I will cross over this bridge, because just doing an IG stories video with my face on it scares me, HA! Why is familiarity so damn comfortable?!

A place I would like to visit:

Zanzibar, it’s been on my bucket list for too long!

A book I would like to read:

The two I have most recently purchased “Becoming” by Michelle Obama and “We Are The One’s We Need” by Sihle Bolani.

A parenting goal I have:

Putting my phone away when I get home, so I can spend the first hour back with the kids.

I want to continue:

To speak up about my “mom issues” – I say this, because there are still many African moms who are expected to just shut up and take whatever comes their way. Talking about your issues as as a mom, doesn’t mean that you don’t appreciate your family or that you can’t handle your issh. Talking and being open with other moms is what has saved me from many frustrations.

I’m committed to:

Writing more content that will be helpful for you. I definitely want to be more intentional with my content. Blogging and sharing my parenting journey is a huge passion of mine and I am grateful that you have come along on the journey with me.

I will make time for:

My studies again – I took a break last year but I’m ready to pick up some good’ol textbooks again. As I write this, I’m still waiting for a final response from my first-choice university, but I remain hopeful because the semester hasn’t started. Please keep me in your prayers!

I will pick up on my dream to:

Coach and educate young girls from townships on a few weekends a year. I started doing this a few years ago, but somehow let life get in the way. I know there are girls that desperately need the assistance and it’s very important for me to play my part and contribute as well.

I will spend less time on:

Social media – blame it on Apple’s new “screen time” feature! Until recently, I didn’t realize how much time I was actually spending on my phone each day – sometimes it would be up to 5 hours of screen time. That’s really ridiculous (for me and in my eyes). I think I could be using that time more productively – after all, I complain about not having enough time for everything. Now I know where it’s all going! Don’t get me wrong, I still want to keep engaging with my Mama Tribe on Instagram and Facebook. Honestly speaking, I have caught myself scrolling for the sake of scrolling and going into accounts I have no business on, lol. It’s a tough habit to break, but I have been trying each day and I’ve already seen great improvement.

Most importantly, my focus will be on:

Spiritual wellness and gratitude. Things are not perfect in my life, I have lots of problems, but I also realize how blessed I am to have a family, loving friends, my health, a career, a passion project and so much more. I never want to take any of my blessings for granted and that will require some spiritual groundedness from me – I would really like to work on that in twenty-nineteen.

Thank you for coming along on this journey with my family and I. You are truly appreciated.

Wishing you an amazing twenty-nineteen!

Love,

Modern Zulu Mom