Thoughts before my 30th birthday

I’m currently on a workcation in Europe, which means that I’ve had some time to think. Truly and deeply. Not just the kind of thinking that requires me to just get through my to-do list. This trip couldn’t have come at a better time because I’m due to sign up for my membership to the Dirty-Thirty Club in just a few days. I never thought I would be excited to turn thirty. Never. I dreaded it from my 23rd birthday and of course I pictured my life turning out very differently. Unrealistically so!

I would like to believe that I have done some growing up. Here are some thoughts:

On what I know for sure…

My definition of success has changed drastically over the last decade. I now truly feel and believe that I have all the success and blessings I need in my family. I’m just so thankful that God saw it fit for me to have the Hubs and children that I have and that our house is filled with an equal dose of disaster and laughter.

On mind-set…

Flexibility and adaptability have served me well throughout my twenties. Not only in accommodating people or at work, but in every situation that comes my way. Life never works out perfectly, I know this because I certainly didn’t plan on being a mom just before my 22^nd birthday! But look at me now, day-dreaming of having my third child and sh!t 🙂

 

On what I can do better…

UP the confidence. I may look and sound confident, but I’m not even close to it half of the time. I havent quite delt with all of the self-esteem issues that I grew up with. I still second-guess myself and overcompensate way too much. It’s a process.

On the next five years…

They don’t scare me as much as the five years between 25 and 30 did. I’m excited and looking forward to executing the expansion plans I have for my career and blog, as well as more travelling with my family. Maybe another baby soon? Hehe 🙂 Yes, this is the second time I’m mentioning another baby in this post. No, I’m not pregnant.

On solitude…

Time alone always feels life-changing for me and I haven’t had much of that since the birth of my daughter and becoming a mom of two. Again, my trip has helped me realise that guilt-free solitude is one of the best gifts that I can give myself from time to time.

What I do often though, is take social-media breaks; both voluntary and unplanned ones, when I literally don’t time to check my feeds (in other words, every evening and weekend, lol) and it makes a big difference for me. It helps me tune into my individual thoughts and also be able to be more present around my family.

On friendship…

I‘m not a fan of the “no new friends” fad.

It’s just in my nature to draw and connect with people wherever I go and at every new phase in my life. I’ve been blessed to keep and grow most of my friendships, even those from childhood. Most people have less friends as they grow older;  I can totally see how this can happen, but I’ve somehow been able to maintain most of my friendships. The nature of the relationship and frequency of contact may be very different to that of 10 years ago, but I treasure my rather large group of friends, in a world of exclusivity and inner circles.

Naturally, there was a sour lemon or two along the way and some turbulence, but in my circle of friends I have women who have become like sisters to me and a freakin great network of successful professionals and free baby sitters 🙂

On career…

The work that we do should leave us feeling SOME fulfilment. You may never land your dream role or establish that business, BUT you have a choice to complain about it or relentlessly fight to create the space for our passion to manifest in other ways.

I’ve put myself on the path to find purpose and meaning wherever I can and my blog is a good example (to myself) of how I’m living-out my passion in a less conventional way.

On success…

It comes at different times and means different things for everyone, as I said above, success for me, is my family and the home we’ve built. That may not be the next person’s definition and that is why I believe that God created enough capacity for all of us to be happy and successful in our unique ways.

All in all, my dominant feelings right now, are positive. I never thought I would say that I’m looking forward to turning 30!

I feel like I DO HAVE IT ALL, although the definition is very different to the one I had 10 years ago. But hey. I’m healthy, loved and fulfilled… stretchmarks and all! I’m still not sure if I’m doing an official celebration for my birthday, but I know that I am ready to LIVE my 30’s boldly and confidently!

Love,

Modern Zulu Mom