Three kids ain’t no joke Mamas, but our home is also much more vibrant now. I remember writing a post about how hard being a mom of two felt, a few years ago, and I laugh now, because three has been even more challenging!
(MY) history has proven that these things do get better with time, so I’m holding tight! I’ve always wanted a big family and I’ve been blessed that my prayer for three kids has been answered.
I’m still trying to find my feet and balance our new family dynamics, but there are already a few things that have surprised me with baby number three (other than the to-be-expected fatigue, higher noise-levels and general chaos) and I thought I was share three of these with you.
1. How often strangers will stare at us
Yho, people can stare!!! I probably do look crazy moving around with three kids, but I didn’t expect the stares from strangers to be so brazen. Damn! These particular stares are more judgemental than they are supportive and sometimes it’s hard not be offended. This experience has also made me more aware of my own biases, because I too, can also be super-judgey at times.
2. How much my toddler would struggle with the transition
This has been the hardest part of having three kids for me. My daughter adores babies and was so excited to become a big sister, so I (unfairly) expected her to love being an older sister all the time. Turns out it’s not so fun 24/7.
Adjusting from being the baby of the house, to being big sister/middle-child has not been easy and it’s a journey we are walking with her. Never has it been so important for me to be sensitive and gentle with her. At times it comes easily and then there are days when I can barely do anything else for the others and I am left feeling very emotional and like I am failing her.
I’ve realized that she’s still SO little and as self-absorbed as any other three year old is and would be. I’ve adjusted my expectations and doing everything, including play-therapy, to help her through this time.
Prioritizing one-on-one time with my oldest two children has become more necessary and I do so as much as I can while I am still on maternity leave. I know it will prove to be tricky later on.
3. How I’m okay with having less
More kids, more stuff? Nope. This time around, I have been so much more aware of my spending and the things that I buy. In fact, I hardly had to get much for my youngest son, as I had kept a lot of my daughters things, like unisex jackets, toys, cots and car seats. For my baby shower, I asked my friends to get me vouchers that I could use as and when I needed them.
Having to stretch our money further has made me more financially-conscious. I also realized that I overcompensated for a lot with my middle child, because I struggled to make ends meet with my first born. I wanted to experience what it was like to have everything you need for your baby. Not that I want to be extreme again, but my new little man happily does his tummy-time on a pink play-mat! It’s really not the end of the world.
I am also more-than-okay with a messy house, because it’s already hard enough to get to everything.
At this point, I would rather use my savings and energy to take care of their future needs and more meaningful family experiences, than sweating the small stuff.
All-in-all, I know I will find my feet as a mom of three soon – you know what they say, everything is figureoutable and I’m a resilient girl!
Any moms that have made this transition to three? What’s your secret?
Modern Zulu Mom