Hi Mama’s, this week I’ve featured Gugu, another Mama that has overcome the challenge of a huge loss, after her first baby sadly lost the battle with Gastroschisis at 12 days old. Gugu contacted me because she wanted her story to encourage any other mother who might be going through a similar experience.
Tell us about yourself and your family?
I am a mother to 2 girls named Reamogetse UyiNtokozo Nxumalo who is 3 years old and Ofentse Xoliswa Nxumalo. I am also the first born child to my parents.
How would you describe your pregnancy?
My pregnancy was very challenging. I couldn’t enjoy it because I was always worried and wondered if everything would be fine the second time around. I made sure I did everything right, from eating healthy, to keeping warm and staying indoors. I took every safety measure you can think of.
What challenges did you experience?
On the 20 June 2011 I lost my first born Ofentse Nxumalo when she was 12 days old. She had a rare defect called Gastroschisis. In simple terms, she wasn’t fully developed because her intestines were stuck outside of her body. So when I was pregnant with Reamogetse, I was always so scared and thought about the possibility of losing her. My partner was never supportive because of his fears of getting too attached to this baby in case we lost her too. I was alone with all those emotions, but I’m grateful for my family and friends who would support me all the time.
Did you have a birth plan?
I didn’t have any birth plan because I had a c-section with Ofentse, so that meant that I would have to get a c-section with my children that follow.
Tell us about the arrival of your baby girl.
To this day, it was the best day of my life. I was so scared. I prayed loudly in the delivery room, asking God for everything to go well. I remember when I heard her cry, I stopped praying and started crying and couldn’t stop, thanking God for blessing me.
How did you feel when you met your daughter?
It felt like I was in heaven, I couldn’t stop staring at her tiny eyes. I cried almost all day that day because I couldn’t believe that I was finally a mother again.
What is the one thing you want your child to know?
I want my child to know that she is a miracle baby, she gave me hope in life and knowledge that God is always with me. She is so special and she has erased all the pain I felt when I lost her sister. I will always be there when she needs me and she must always Trust in God.
How long was your maternity leave and how did you feel when you went back to work?
My maternity leave was 4 months and it was the shortest 4 months ever. I remember crying the night before while preparing my clothes for the next day; I even thought of resigning to be a stay at mom but reality hit me that baby needs to eat at the end of the day.
What child care/ support structure do you have?
Her granny (fathers’ mom) organised a nanny for her, Mirriam. Oh, what a blessing she is. My daughter has always been in good hands.
Are there any cultural traditions that you followed when your child was born?
My gran was very strict with us being home indoors for 3 months. Friends and distant family members could only see her after 1 month. We cut her hair after her 1st birthday.
What are the difficult parts of being a mom?
You don’t have ”ME” time. You go to the bathroom and she follows you and starts chatting away. After a long day at work, you have to see to her needs first – play with her, feed her, bath her and make sure she falls asleep before you do. You have to always have a smile on your face when you around her because she can’t see you angry, stressed or crying.
What is the best part of being a mom?
You mature immediately.
I have my close friend to wear matching outfits with. Daddy would say I have my person-doll because I can dress her up the way I want.
You see your seed grow every day and you have to make sure that this seed is growing well.
Do you have plans for having more children in the future?
Yes I want a baby boy after I get married and only when my daughter is old enough to understand that mommy has to give the little more attention.
Thank you for sharing your journey with us Gugu. I wish you all the blessings with Rea and your future babies.
If you would like to be featured next, please send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org – I would love to have you
Modern Zulu Mom