The lessons I’m learning from not having a balance

Finding the balance for everything that requires my attention has been one of the hardest things to do this year. It’s often said, that there is no such thing as balance – we do what we need to do, when we need to do it and I truly believe it! We cannot win every battle.

No matter how strenuous and tough life can be at times, I always try to find the lessons or the good in things (often in retrospect, because my first reaction is to be irrational, of course).

 

Take time out for yourself

 

I don’t think I’ll ever stop saying this to moms! We live in an era of constant busyness and information overload. Life demands so much out of us. Switching off and enjoying your own company or exploring your passions are basic luxuries we should be affording ourselves as much as we can (that’s why I think I’ll always blog, in some way or the other, because writing is my outlet).

Your health can take a serious knock if you reach burn out – it’s only March, but I’ve been there! Without a healthy mom, the whole family eco-system falls apart.

 

Build your support system

 

My work load is a bit crazy at the moment. I’m working on some really exciting projects that are energizing me and although stressful, it’s a nice space to be in. I really want to push and work hard on my career this year and I’m realizing that this will have an inevitable impact on my time with the kids (mid-week atleast). I cant even tell you how many swimming lessons I’ve caused them to miss!

I would not be able to do this without my family and nanny. When you have a support system, it’s important to use it, whether it’s to manage an emergency or to attend to my first point.

If you don’t live in the same town as your family, build relationships with friends and colleagues. We will always need other people.

 

Be flexible

Things won’t always work out the way you plan them. I know you know this, but its important to regain perspective at times and cut yourself some slack! There are so many things that I have dropped the ball on, so many times I’ve lost my temper with the kids and times where I have disappointed people that were relying on me. It’s a crappy feeling, but flexibility goes a long way. Your plan may not unfold as you hoped it would, but you will find another solution. You will get another chance. Things will work out eventually. Just know this.

 

Don’t fill up your whole weekend

 

I have noticed that I get really drained if every single weekend is “busy”. My Saturdays are already consumed with the children’s activities until lunchtime, then it’s birthday parties and errands. It’s just generally always a busy day, so I always feel rushed. I’m really finding it therapeutic to just chill with the kids on a Sunday, by that I mean, try not to leave the house; and if we do, it’s just to go out for lunch or to play. The more chilled my Sunday is, the less overwhelming my Monday is and new week is. It’s hard to turn down invitations to do stuff with friends and family, but sometimes you need to for your own sanity.

 

How do you find the time to “balance” things? Would love to get some pointers!

Let’s connect on Instagram or Facebook – I can definitely say I have a bit of balance there 🙂

 

Love,

Modern Zulu Mom

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8 Comments

  1. Balance is as much a dreaded word as change!!! We live in a world where there is so much demand on our time that finding a balance seems like taboo. The one thing I’ve learnt that has helps a great deal is learning to say NO! In the past I would quickly say yes thenfind myself running wild to get everything done. Now I say NO and I don’t feel guilty about it! Like you said healthy mommy happy family. And I also need to model a good behavior for my family.

    We keep learning

  2. Ooh that illusive balance we all search for. I have recently learnt to accept more help.( I’ve been the I can do it all mommy and it’s exhausting). A friend recently offered to stay with mini-me on a Friday afternoon/evening 2 give me some me-time & at first I was stressed coz it “ruined” my schedule but it was so great 2 do something for me. I went to watch an adult movie (imagine that😂).
    I think it’s important to slow down especially on weekends because we are chasing time the entire week

    1. Yes to more help T! It’s funny how WE become the attached ones, I’m glad you have your inner circle to support you. After all, we were raised ‘by the community’.

  3. I can relate to this so much. Sometimes I weep in bed thinking how im failing at balancing our lives out. But I feel so much better knowing Im not the one

    1. You are never alone mommy, I think we just need to keep talking openly about our struggles. It’s one of the most difficult things to accomplish – I don’t think balance exists

  4. Great piece!
    I don’t have balance, my time is taken so much by tv soapies, I know I’m guilty. I don’t have kids, yet, but imagine I don’t have balance now, what would I do when I have to take care of my family! I am struggling to punctual even at work. When I am meeting my friends, I am the last one to arrive. At a mall with colleagues, I am the last one to get back in the car, sometimes they wait for me a couple of minutes because I can’t get in at a shop and go straight to that particular object I came for.

  5. Life can get really challenging, I am definitely not getting to everything.
    I like to take as much time for myself as I can, especially in the evenings as we do early bedtime for the kids. So at least I know most nights I can catch up. Think of it this way…no such things as balance only ‘balancing’ a constant juggle 🙂

    I agree not to fill up the weekend, is a good approach to be more rested on mondays.

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